He's On His Way!

PANIC
A sudden, unreasoning, hysterical fear.

I would say that’s a perfect word to describe how I am feeling today.

I went to the Dr. to have another exam. I am 2-3cm dilated and can have this baby any day now. Was I expecting it THIS soon? Not at all. Our original due date of October 11 is definitely not going to be met. So, as nature takes its course over the next few days (or week)….so does my mind – it has automatically been set to panic mode. I rushed home and started to pack my bags….underwear, pajamas, a book and some other essentials. I also packed a few necessities for the baby, including one bottle (in case I am unable to give him my boob right away).

V and I decided to ‘sterilize’ the bottle. It was a sight worth seeing. We boiled some water….put the bottle in it and waited for a few minutes. I called my mother-in-law to ask if we were doing it correctly as I had a sudden vision of plastic melting all over the stove. Laughingly, she advised us we were doing it properly. Wow. Our first ‘baby task’ has officially been completed with flying colors! Good job us!!

We are now playing the waiting game. When will this miracle take place?

Only time will tell...

My Belly Story

The countdown has begun.....this picture was taken at 33 weeks! (August 22-28)

I am feeling much better. No longer walking around like a penguin, rather, the weight of my belly is simply slowing me down. These days, all I keep hearing is “Ay Dios mio, pura panza!” *Translation – “Oh my God…..you’re all belly!”

My due date was originally October 11th however it seems to be changing. According to my Dr., he thinks it may be 2 weeks sooner which brings me to the end of this month - END OF THIS MONTH!

I can honestly say I am ready – or am I?

Up until now everything seemed so surreal. The belly growing, the contractions, weight gain etc…. none of it made me realize the truth of the situation – we are HAVING A BABY! Ok…..I am in panic mode now……

We had a tour of the hospital a few weeks back and much to our surprise were shocked to see there were NO PATIENTS & NO BABIES on that specific day. Vince asked the nurse if Mondays are usually a ‘don’t-have-your-baby-today’ siesta days in Mexico? Seemed a little odd to us, don’t you think?

In The Womb

Here are some pictures of baby Perri chilling out in mama's belly! These 3D images were taken week 33.

The first picture shows him sleeping....with his mouth wide open (just like his aunt). The second one has him smiling. I wonder what he's dreaming about? Who knows if he will look anything like these images, but it's funny how both families have already started taking ownership of his features... "His lips look just like Vince's!" and "He has your grandfather's nose!"

We won't know for sure until he makes his way into this world..but for now, I think he's pretty cute, if I may say so myself!!

Painting Can be Fun

Last week we began working on the baby's room, our theme is 'Under the Sea'. We had to paint over Toy Story images (from previous owners) to presonalize it for our little guy. Vince did a great job creating the waves. Once the waves were done, I began drawing fish and other creatures. The dolphin is Vince's favorite. For a first time painter, I must say I did a pretty good job!
See below to witness the rest of my beautiful artwork.....

Baby's Room is Under the Sea!

The End!

Down South Is a No Entry Zone!

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.

Don't touch me! Don’t come near me! Let’s just cuddle...

Can these three phrases sound anymore appropriate for the way I have been feeling these past few weeks?

So far, my pregnancy had been pretty ‘uneventful’. Definition of this word? Full of no events – and I guess we should never speak to soon. I am now in my 30th week and counting down, hoping for a more uplifting and enjoyable few weeks ahead. Week 28 and 29 were BRUTAL, to say the least. I went for a blood test and discovered I have Pregnancy Anemia. Apparently, this is pretty common and only means I need to double up on my iron intake, more meat and more green veggies. So, that’s exactly what I have been doing. Watch…my next appointment, I will be told my cholesterol is too high and I need to slow down on the ‘red meat’ intake.

Next came my infamous bout of contractions. Everyone kept telling me they’re normal. How could I be the judge? I’ve never been pregnant before. Do ‘normal’ contractions make you crouch to the ground wishing you could pull your hair out and bang your self onto a wall? Do 'normal' contractions make you want to call 911 as a burning sensation takes over your entire body? Do 'normal' contractions make the mom-to-be yelp in an agonizing cry? Well, I didn’t think so. After finding blood in my pee, the doctor was able to detect a Urinary Tract infection gone undetected. U-N-D-E-T-E-C-T-E-D! My first thought was “HOW could this be undetected? You’re my doctor; you should have detected this from long before. Rather than telling me my contractions were normal, you should have detected the agony in my voice. The concerned look on my face was a sure giveaway these contractions couldn’t be normal. Isn’t it YOUR job to DETECT such things DOC?”

Luckily, we caught it early enough where the infection hadn’t spread to my kidneys, now that could’ve been a call for disaster, bringing on early labor and major complications. In any case, I am on new vitamins, antibiotics and of course a pill to help stop the contractions - since apparently that is what they were, caused by the infection, yikes, I have a lot to look forward to in a couple of months – EPIDURAL PLEASE (with an extra shot of Demerol and Morphine).

The story doesn’t end here.

After taking the antibiotics for a few days, I noticed I was red, swollen and a bit itchy down below. Hmmm, why is all this extra fluid leaking out? Yep, you guessed it right ladies, the antibiotics caused a lovely Yeast Infection. I've never had one before, and I don’t wish one upon my worst enemy (ok, maybe my worst enemy can suck it up and suffer for a few days!) So, I called the doctor (yet again) with my sulking voice and ‘I feel so bad for constantly bothering you’ tone – wondering if he can tell his cell number is on our speed dial. I told him about my recent ‘southern discovery’ along with my new friend ‘hemmie’ that cordially invited himself to make an appearance on my ass. He gave me the name of a medication to ‘insert’…and told me to drink Metamucil for my buddy ‘hemmie’. Oh, but wait a second, “I am not constipated!” I told the doctor. To which he responded “Ah, then, ‘hemmie’ most likely showed up cause the pressure of your uterus is pushing down on your rectal nerves.” RECTAL NERVES?? Who knew they even existed? I sure didn’t.

Luckily, the story ends here. I have been walking around like a tortured penguin for the past 3 days, wearing nothing but comfy cotton grandma undies and sweats. So long to my thong days….feeling sexy has definitely been thrown out the window. My husbands response to all this? “Thank goodness we didn’t have sex, can you imagine if I caught your infection!” GOD FORBID! Maybe a dose of itching powder in his workout shorts will teach him a lesson or two!

I have to admit, he has been very supportive and trying to help the best he knows how. I on the other hand have been a grouchy bitch walking around (like a penguin) miserable and annoyed. While V goes to the gym with his friends….I sit here on my painful ass, waiting for the day to come where my little guy will finally be here, laying in my arms, while I try and start to feel normal again. I have also come to the realization, although pregnancy IS a team effort, no matter how much endeavor the father puts forth, the mother is still the one who sacrifices the most – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially.

Just think…..

If men were equally at risk from this condition (pregnancy) - if they knew their bellies might swell as if they were suffering from end-stage cirrhosis, that they would have to go nearly a year without a stiff drink, a cigarette, or even an aspirin, that they would be subject to fainting spells and unable to fight their way onto commuter trains - then I am sure that pregnancy would be classified as a sexually transmitted disease and abortions would be no more controversial than emergency appendectomies. ~Barbara Ehrenreich

Week 27...

If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

- Bruce Barton


The countdown has begun. What seemed so surreal is now only a few months away from becoming reality, and my emotions have done a good job taking over me. My trip to Toronto was eventful and filled with great moments. My baby shower was fun and the N&R wedding went well, two milestones that have come and gone. The next big thing at this point is waiting for our baby to make his way into this world.

Saying good-bye to my friends and family seemed harder than usual this time. I guess in my mind it made things that much more real, knowing the next time I see everyone will be with my… son. I am overwhelmed, excited, nervous, scared and of course full of love for this little being inside me that has made clear he is around.

The punches and kicks are getting stronger as the days progress and I can’t help just lay there and watch. My first thought was “Wow, if I am this in love with him now…how much more can I love him when he is finally around us?”
That’s where the love and excitement come into play. As for scared and nervous…well, that’s a different story all together. We bought our little man’s baby furniture last week. I was excited until I got home and broke down. Reality hit. Could this be the greatest love of my life? Thus far, V was it, and now, this ‘non-existent’ person whom I am yet to meet is going to take over and our lives are going to be completely different than what we have known all these years. We are buying furniture for a little person who is coming to stay with us, for good - not just for a visit. Being far away from home also doesn’t help. What if I don’t know what to do? What if I am not the perfect mom? What if my little guy doesn’t like me? What if my husband loves me less?

All natural, I am sure (or at least hope)! Life is definitely going to be different and I cannot wait for that day to come. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment just to dwell in this happiness, I am making sure I enjoy every single day until that very moment. I will stand by my baby forever and ensure he is well taken care of, and well entertained. I am sure my version of ‘Baby’s Got Back’ will be just as entertaining if not more than the version performed on Friends. I will speak to him about life, read to him about fantasy and show him all the beautiful things the world has to offer. I pray he will be my guide, to a more beautiful world than what we see and hear on the news these days. There is hope, and maybe our little man can one day make that difference.

So the story continues…..

Physically - I feel I need a crane to help me get off the couch.
Emotionally - I am like a roller coaster waiting to fall off its tracks.

Am I enjoying being pregnant? ABSOLUTELY!!

I pray the little guy can feel my enthusiasm on a daily basis…thus far; it seems that’s the only gift I can offer him.

It’s a Bird. It’s a Plane. No, It’s Made in Mexico!

Our appointment was yesterday, the day of NO CHOICES - a day where MY idea of FUN was on the agenda. We arrived to the Dr.’s office shortly before 8am and planted ourselves anxiously on the seats in the waiting room. I was called in to be weighed, gained only 2lbs this month, not bad. We waited for 20minutes and in strolled the Dr. After a few more minutes off we went, diligently walking in side by side as our lives were about to take a big change. This appointment meant if I would have to succumb to the fast paced, car playing world of boys, or angelic doll playing, tea time world of girls. We sat down and were asked a bunch of questions. Are you feeling well? Do you have any questions? At that moment I just wanted to blurt out “Yeah DOC, let’s get on with the ‘what is the sex’ show!” Then we moved into the ultrasound room and I took my place on the bed. V told him at this point we are ready to know. Well, not sure if HE really was, but I think at this point he was fearing the safety of his well being!!

On went the jelly stuff and the Dr. began the process. He pointed out the head, arms, fingers, and legs and finally said….. “And here is the PENIS!!!!!!!”

PENIS??????? PENIS??????? OH MY GOD!! WE ARE HAVING A BOY!! A PAPPI!! AN HOMBRE!! A CHAMACO!!! A NIÑO!!!! I WILL HAVE A SON!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, I began to sob as a surge of emotions took over me. V was also overjoyed! He now will have someone to play with his gas powered million dollar cars and won’t have to spray them pink!! Part of us knew it was a boy, but I guess reality did not sink in until that very moment. I have not been able to wipe this silly grin off my face! Knowing the sex of this baby has made my pregnancy that much more real, I now realize that (God willing) in October, I will be the proud mamacita of a little baby boy – made in Mexico!

To Know or Not To Know...

Can parental rivalry begin even when the ‘child’ has not yet made his/her entrance to this world? Is it possible to guarantee an equal commitment from both parents to ensure lines of communication remain at large and decisions are made in harmony? I can certainly say daddy-to-be and I have already begun that well known ‘battle-of-the-parents’.

It all started on April 15th, when we had our 3rd appointment with Dr. M.
Originally, we were told we would be able to discover the sex of our baby around
4½ months. Are we talking a sausage or buns?

We discussed the options, and although the notion of ‘surprise’ stood strong BEFORE we got pregnant, I realized staying patient and not knowing, is just not healthy, for me or the baby! (Don’t they say anxiety is bad during pregnancy!?) Making my decision to know wasn’t too difficult. A few wise people gave me a variety of reasons why everyone should want to know. The knowledge of this baby’s identity will not only give me one extra year to bond, but also the ability to connect with the baby using his/her name. Now I know, most people will argue and say “But, you can still bond without knowing the baby’s sex.” Sure. I suppose. But then what would we call him/her? Is ‘It’, ‘Pumpkin’, ‘Baby’ or Beany ok? Let’s suppose we could name it, would ‘Pat’ be wise to use? Wouldn’t the baby suffer from gender identity crisis even before ‘he/she’, ‘it’ (or whatever) is born?

The other benefit to knowing is the thrill of a double surprise. One at that very moment during the ultrasound (what will the Dr. say?)…and the next upon delivery (what will he/she look like?)

We were both stricken with much surprise when the doctor blurted out he is able to identify the baby’s gender and could tell us at that very moment what we were having. I freaked. I was so overjoyed, eager and ready to embed the idea of having a little girl or boy into the next 5 months of our lives. I saw pink…then blue... I saw Barbie…then G.I Joe….there was a myriad of thoughts and visions crossing my mind. My blissful moment quickly came to a loud squeaking halt when V decided he wasn’t ready to know. I couldn’t believe it. I was in utter shock and completely disappointed!? Shouldn’t I have the final say; after all…I am the one bearing an extra 12 lbs so far. I am the one who is looking more and more like a whale…I am the one who is out of breath more often (shall I go on?)

We left the Dr.’s office.

I knew nothing, only that my baby resembles an alien from outer space.
I was outraged.

Daddy decided he wasn’t ready to know so soon, and thought it would be F-U-N to wait another month! FUN??? Does he even know the definition? Fun means a 'source of pleasure'. Did he find a ‘source of pleasure’ in seeing fumes coming out of my ears? Needless to say I was not having FUN. My only 'source of pleasure' at that moment would have been to wrap my overly hormonal body around his neck and strangle him!

So the story goes, ‘Pat’ is growing and so is my belly. His/her closet is full of yellow, white and mint green outfits. The game of speculation has begun. Both sets of parents believe IT is a boy! After all, how could the doctor be so sure at only 3 ½ months? I am now entering my 5th month and am enjoying every moment of it. Even though we are so far away from home, it’s such a comfort to see everyone supporting us via emails and phone calls. IT is very fortunate to have such great friends and family!

What is my objective of the month?
Continue eating healthy. Continue exercising. And make sure my husband is ready for our next appointment! No surprises then, this time, it will be MY IDEA OF FUN, when Wal-Mart will be the next stop for either a Barbie doll or G.I Joe action figure!

What is my goal?
To use this experience wisely, moving forward and ensuring that my V and I are both on the same page – always. Even though at times we may not agree on certain things, (like circumcision) it is important we work together and arrive to a peaceful agreement when it comes to our baby… ‘Pat’.

I Feel Like a Porn Star

Who knew having big boobs would be such a painful thing? LITERALLY! Nope. I did not get implants nor did I have them lifted (although, having them removed right about now seems like a good idea). I’ve always been a teeny-tiny A cup. A once proud owner of these previously microscopic bumps, I wore my fitted tops with much dignity and pride. Going ‘sans’ bra was an easy thing to do. Well, not anymore. Now it’s move over bumps, here come a set of lethal torpedoes. Being 3 months pregnant has had its ups, downs and…'growths'. Yep, you heard it right. I am 3 months pregnant and completely showing it - so much for the ‘pregnancy glow’ on my face, one quick glance at my belly and it’s clearly evident something is up (not to mention the sudden emergence of acne).
My first thought was people would wonder if I have been eating too many tortillas or indulging in too much cerveza. Well, truth be told, I have been eating quite healthily since I found out about the nugget. But, that hasn’t stopped my normally flat stomach from becoming outward bound. I notice it most when I am taking a shower. In a usual circumstance, I should be able to see my toes when I look down south (amongst other body parts). Now, my view is of a stranger looking belly button with a larger than average gut. Dr.’s response to my quicker than average growth – “ Mees, you are small and petite, yor bady ees making room for dee baby, ees natural.”
Natural SHMATURAL! Could we be having twins? Maybe I am farther along than he thinks? Yeah…NO! The ultrasounds show one little nugget at the average growth rate of three months. Can’t use that as an excuse anymore.
So, here I stand. Three months pregnant – due October 11, 2005.

My birthday was January 19th. We went out that Saturday to celebrate me turning twenty-fricken-nine! Ugh. Can’t believe I’m a year away from turning the BIG 3-0. Nuts. So, I decided to drown my glee…sorrow…whatever it was, in a fun night out with the boys. We went to a local club called Neo and had a blast. As Paulina Rubio’s ‘Dame la Tequila’ blared through the speakers…I did EXACTLY that! I must have had 10 shots of tequila, bringing me to a complete state of utter drunkenness. OHMIGUDNESS…WAS I PREGNANT THEN??? I have no idea…. but that definitely was my first question when we went to see the doctor. WILL THE TEQUILA AFFECT MY BABY?? Will his/her blood be semi-condensed with a toxic dose of Mexican tequila? I mean, nugget was manufactured in Mexico…. and will be born in Mexico…. so maybe tequila in the blood should be acceptable and customary?

The future-dad-to-be is obviously ecstatic and totally anticipating the arrival of his production. Yes. He glows with pride and reminds me constantly how good his boys can swim. Male ego?! Male pride?! I just laugh and nod, “Yes dear…you have Olympian swimmers who have just earned the gold metal!”

The sign is clearly evident at this point. When Loco the bird showed up at our house in January, I am convinced he came bearing the good fortune we desired. Even though I feel FAT, I pee every 5 seconds and my face looks like a pepperoni pizza, I finally have big boobs (for me anyway) and will embrace in a new journey with my husband. Excited, nervous and completely overjoyed for what’s to come ahead....it's amazing...life really is full of miracles…

Sign On...Sign Off

He died a year and a half ago. Since then, my world has taken new meaning with new perspectives on the things that happen around me. When my grandfather took his last breath on that dreadful day in July 2003, I was certain I would never be the same person again. As I held onto his hand, I witnessed his soul be taken away into an unknown realm. Was it real? Was it surreal? I still don’t quite know how to describe the feelings I felt at that very moment. A part of me sensed a sigh of relief as I knew his pain had ended, while at the same time I was overwhelmed with extreme grief and sorrow. It’s so difficult to see someone you love so much die right before your eyes, holding your hand while at the same time letting it go. That was the very chapter that brought me forward to a new beginning of my very own personal being.

I have always been sceptical at the notion of life after death and find it hard to believe souls are with us daily and spirits are amongst us sending signs of different sorts. The thought is actually kind of eerie, isn’t it? How many times has something strange happened to you that has made you wonder why? For instance, ever since my grandfather passed away, I constantly stumble upon the numbers 1111, whether it’s looking at the clock at that very moment, receiving emails at that time, my bills at the grocery store, etc…. Very strange, isn’t it? What could it mean? I have absolutely no idea; I am yet to figure that one out!

What stands out most is a particular incident that took place not too long ago. Let’s see if I can make you a believer. Four days before my birthday last month, I was sitting at home using the computer. The weather was nice and sunny, as usual, and V was at work when I suddenly heard a rustling noise just outside the back sliding door. I looked over and saw a beautiful blue bird sitting on a potted plant. I quickly made my way near it, and much to my surprise, it didn’t move from its place. That’s when I realized it was definitely not a wild bird. I quickly came up with my plan of action. What do I do? I can’t touch this bird? What if it bites me?
Oh, but owning a 100 lb. Rottweiler is much safer? I took a deep breath and gathered my composure. I wasn’t going to let this bird go. I grabbed our dog cage and was able to make the bird get inside. I quickly shut the door and placed my prized possession nicely on the patio table.

As I waited for V to come home and see the new addition to our family, I was thinking of what to name our new found friend. Just at that moment, my mom called to say hi. As I told her the story, she suddenly burst into tears. Here's why...that morning, my grandmother called my mom in a cheerful mood to explain the dream she had had the night before. She said her and my grandfather were in the car, driving to the border and my grandfather was joking that he may have forgotten his passport. All in all, she said she woke up laughing at the hilarity of her dream, it made her happy. My mother then continued to tell me when my grandfather was younger, his friends used to call him ‘blue bird’. It was a representation of his stunning blue eyes and his most favourite and famous blue suit. All in all, the entire incident was quite overwhelming.

Could this bird have been a sign from my grandfather? My grandma dreamt them passing the ‘border’ going on a road trip. Maybe he was telling her he was on his way to Mexico? And later that day he finally showed up? All quite strange don’t you think?

The next day, V and I went to the pet store, and sure enough discovered our new pet is called a ‘Perequeeto del Amor’, also known as a Budgie. We were strongly advised to hang on to the bird as it is known in Mexico to bring ‘buena suerte’ (good-luck)! That being said, we bought our new lucky charm a great little cage with tons of toys and the finest of bird seeds. Every morning I wake up and look at Loco (the bird’s name) and wonder what the meaning is behind his arrival.

What’s the moral of my story?
It’s important to be aware and conscious of everything that happens around us. We don’t want to miss an important detail, or lose a piece of an important puzzle we will need to put together later. Perhaps the sign will eventually help point to a significant direction?
I guess we’ll just have to wait and see...